How to Deal with Difficult People

September 13, 2016

Hey Guys

So I wanted to share with you all the answer to the question I receive most from my readers.

How to deal with difficult people.

What I always suggest first and most importantly (and this might be difficult at first, since the person in question seems to be creating trouble in your life) is:

To pray for that persons happiness.

The number one thing you need to understand when dealing with this person is that they are behaving this way because they suffer in some way. They simply do not know any better. So if we have can help create some positivity in their lives through our prayer, we won't have to deal with their difficulties anymore. In other words, if that person becomes happy because you prayed that they would, not only will you no longer have to deal with their difficulties, but also, you will create a better karmic outcome for yourself and ultimately better life circumstances. Simply know that it is beneficial for the both of you.

The second thing I always suggest is: do not respond to the bad behavior. If you take a non responsive approach, you will, again, create a better karmic future for yourself. This can be difficult for many of us because we feel the need to react in order to "teach" that person how to treat us. However this is counterproductive because when you react in resistance, you create more of the same through the energy you put into your resistance. When you resist something, you feel a passionate dislike for it, which means more of the same energy, which means you attract more of the like through the law of attraction. Carl Jung famously stated: "what you resist, persists." So if you don't respond to someone's unkindness, you end the the cycle of that energy. Furthermore, that person will see that you are not participating in the behavior and see that they are not getting the reaction they were anticipating, therefore they stop the behavior. When they realize that they are the only one behaving negatively, they are better able to see their own behavior and stop the behavior.  In sum, "the less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become." ~Anonymous

The third thing you'll need to do is figure out what your triggers are. The reason you need to do this is because in order for you to be non reactive you have to be able to step out of your ego and come into higher consciousness. You have to be able to step out of the argument or the circumstance so you can look at the bigger picture without your emotional baggage and understand whats happening from a higher consciousness. Ekhart Tolle calls these triggers "pain bodies." If you don't figure out what your pain body is, it will continue to blind you and you will not be able to understand how you got to this circumstance, therefore you will not be able to step out of the ego and into higher consciousness. In other words, you will not be able to control yourself. Once you figure out what is at the root of your pain body, you can understand why you react the way you do, and can begin to become present during conflict. Then you are able to stop reacting.

 

The fourth thing you'll need to do is understand how you are responsible for attracting this circumstance into your life and how you are a participant in this experience. You are dealing with this difficult person because you have been difficult with someone else in the past, in some way or another, even if you don't yet realize how. At some point you gave someone a hard time about something, and so in turn, you are now experience someone else giving you a hard time. So the important lesson here is, to figure out how you have been difficult to someone else in the past. Once you become aware of how you are guilty of the same thing and are in fact, no better than anyone else, you have gotten the lesson you were meant to learn from this experience: when you give others a hard time, you will experience others giving you a hard time. Once you have this humbling awareness (that lifts you out of your ego), you will be able to recognize, in the moment, when you are giving others a hard time and you will be able to stop the behavior. Once you stop the behavior, you will find yourself living a much more peaceful life and you can trust that your future will remain that way.


The last thing I suggest is to begin using affirmations about having a peaceful, harmonious life. This way you create more of the circumstances you want and less of the difficulty involving this person. Some that you might want to start with are:

I am so grateful for all the peace, love and harmony in my life.
I am so happy to be surrounded by loving, supportive people.



Warmest,

Hanaa

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